But instead, I'm just feeling like, it's 2009.
I usually get this "after Christmas" blue feeling, I keep trying to tell myself that. And, boy do I have it.
No matter all the things I try to think of to pull myself out of this "funk", I don't seem to be able to. My after-Christmas feeling is a little like baby-blues. I know to expect it, I know it's normal, and I know it will pass.
I keep thinking of this time, 2 years ago, (which doesn't seem like 2 years ago), right after Joshua had surgery. The event we knew would have to happen, but dreaded like the plague, was over. It was a feeling of relief.
Now, we've got more on the horizon to dread, it seems. I'm still waiting for the blood test results. With all of these holiday-days, everything is off track with getting those results in a timely way. Then we have to find out when his ultrasound will be, then the 24 urine thing. I just wish it were behind us, and we knew what the best course of action would be for him.
I was so afraid for him to have surgery at 18 mths, but now see that as simpler. It fixed the problem - done deal. Instead of this lifelong thing, that doesn't seem to have any simple or even fixable solutions.
So that, among other things, are bringing me down, when normally, I would be "thinking" better of things at the beginning of a new year.
I'm doing the Beth Moore scripture memorization thing. I thought it would be way too hard for me to memorize one, especially 2 a month. Well, I already have mine memorized - and yes, I am so proud. I looked for one that would lift me out of this mood of mine. I will keep repeating it over and over.
Psalm 91:1-2
"He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High
will rest in the shadow of the Almighty.
I will say of the Lord, He is my refuge and my fortress, my God,
in whom I trust."
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