Fall has to be the prettiest of seasons...
Everywhere, the red, orange and yellows catch the eye.
Here in the deep South, it can't decide to be cool and stay cool,
or turn warm again.
It reminds me a bit of myself right now.
So happy for this time of year,
the holidays, the leaves, the trees, the joy.
But so many winds of change in my life right now...
Do I live in peace, or live in fear?
Do I live in joy or give way to sadness?
Seems a season of reflecting,
a season of bits of regret - does that come when one needs to think and does think too much?
A season of what to do next?
And how did I get here?
One of teenager, a preteen and a 1st grader,
and all the deep issues with each age - and boys and girl.
All at once.
And a mom that wonders how she was just the teenager...
and she's not ready to parent one...
or two.
A season to take it all in.
To open the blinds and just to look -
at the colors and the leaves and the trees and the blowing of the breeze.
One where I wonder what will blow in next?
Where will God lead, and what will open and what will close?
What will take shape, that I cannot begin to make out right now?
A season to draw close to Him who holds all of it in His hands.
To listen, to read, to hear, to question, to soak in, to saturate,
to stop the clenching of my fists -
to open my hands...
To all that He brings,
blowing in - like these leaves on this breeze.
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