As The World Turns

Okay, I'm going to admit something that some of you will not be able to relate to, and others may.
For YEARS - I'm talking most of my life - I watched "As The World Turns". My Granny started "listening" to it on radio when it first began. Then my mom watched it on TV with her for years. As a kid I would sit and watch it with both of them. It was a treat to watch when I was home sick from school. I can remember seeing Bob and Kim Hughes, and all their kids. And who could forget Lilly and Holden, and all the Sniders, especially Jack and Carly. Oh, Emma Snider and her farm made me feel so at home.
I know this must be silly to some of you, but it was a little escape from life, I guess. Over the past few years, I'd record them and watch them when I could. A couple of years ago, we got a computer that you can watch TV on, and record hundreds of hours of TV. So, all last year, I'd record them, and they began piling up. Sometime in the latter part of the year, I realized I had like 2 months worth. I was trying to watch them in fast forward, as fast as I could, just to get through them and delete some. I'd skip the parts I really wasn't interested in. I just wanted to know what was going on with the main characters I really cared about.
Well, as I was doing this, I realized I would never get through them. I didn't have the time to do it. I felt guilty about sitting at the computer in the den trying to get through all of those shows.
I did the unthinkable.... For me. Before I could stop myself, I hit delete. On every one of those shows. One by one. And I have not watched it since.
Now, about an hour ago, I was in the shower - thinking rambling thoughts as you do when in the shower. And one of the characters from the show came to my mind. Then I began to think of all the beloved characters (to me) and wondered what was happening with each of them.
I admit, I felt a little sad. Like a part of your life has moved on without you and you know nothing about it anymore. I KNOW, I KNOW - it's just a TV show. A soap opera at that. But for most of my 36 years, I followed them as best as I could between going to school, getting married, moving across country, working, having my 3 children, and all the other things that fill our lives.
And now - they are gone. When I hit the delete button - all those months ago, I sort of felt a feeling of relief. Relief not to have to find the time to watch it anymore. Relief - to spend my time doing something better.
And I still feel that way.
But try as I might - if I allow myself to think about it, I can't help but feel as if I miss them! Those characters I "grew up with"!
As the title reads - As The World Turns!!!!