And instantly, I felt that feeling that thousands have felt before... - how did I get to this age? So quickly? I still feel so young!
And with those feelings, came the once again washing realization that this is life. This is living - right now... And it is brief.
I have been sad for days, over different things. Emotions taking over all sense... With the choice to end one path, and many paths laid out before me... I feel like the scarecrow in the Wizard of Oz. I want someone to point me in the right direction - I fear that on my own, I may just spin around and point... and take the wrong way.
And with those feelings come others. "Who am I now?", "What is my role?" , "What to work for now?"
And suddenly, with the sparkle of a silver that shouldn't yet be there - I was slapped out of my downward spiral. (Thankfully, because it was so not fun!)
Again I am reminded of the breath I am breathing. Those I love around me. My feet firmly on this ground. Beauty for the seeing. It's all here - right now. And if I would stop wallowing long enough, and for good, I could give this all to God. I could stop the spinning, dry up the tears, place all of this in His hands, and live each day how I know to live. The rest will work out. With or without me knowing quite how.
And meanwhile, there is eternity in view! How will I love Him? How will I trust Him? How will I show His love to others? Will I live for Him, or will He be in the background of my life? Will I believe His truth or all that the world says is true? Will I work to slap the rest of us out of the belief that today is not forever? That we need God in our hearts and in our lives... that He is the silver lining in this life?
Oh that I would not be so earthly minded
And that I would not miss the here and now
The wonder that is this life.
Oh that I would give all things to God,
to trust Him,
to open my hands to what He has.
To not waste these moments of this brief life.
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