Clay just called to tell me that the doctor's office just called him and had to reschedule the surgery until the 25th. So all the plans of what people would be helping me just fell through. One friend was going to be able to come over early when we left for the hospital, and get the older two off to school. Her husband just happened to be off that day only - so he could get her kids off to school.
My other friend who was going to watch him during the day of the surgery will be moving next week.
Okay God - I'm praying you will fix all of this and work it all out, because right now, I don't see how.
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Today feels like the beginning of a long stressful week.
It's rainy and dreary, to match my mood.
I need to get out to the grocery store for a few things, but don't even feel like getting out of my PJ's.
Clay's back surgery is Weds. morning. I feel nervous and a little scared, as it is so close now, and this is really about to happen.
I feel like I'm getting a headache already - and fear I may have one all week. Unfortunately, this is how my body deals with stress. I get severe headaches/migraines. It's like the icing on the cake - all I need. Ha.
I'm sure everything will be fine, but just knowing what we will be going through - the surgery, hospital stay, people watching the kids - trying to juggle it all, it just has me feeling down this morning. When he gets to come home, it will feel a whole lot better.
If either of us has had to be in the hospital, it has 99% of the time, been me. I have had 6 surgeries - and none of them have been easy - considering 3 of those 6 have been C-sections, I at least got something wonderful from all the pain!
I'm just not used to the idea of him being the helpless one, at least for a while anyway.
I'd appreciate all of your prayers - for him, for his recovery, for me to just take deep breaths and relax through it all, and for the kids. Especially for Joshua who loves and wants his daddy. I'm not sure how he will handle being away from him. Or seeing him in the hospital. And pray that he'll be okay with a few different people watching him, while I try to be with Clay as much as I can the first couple of days. Hopefully they will let him go home by the third day.
I keep reciting my last two weeks memory verse, as I practice breathing slowly and deeply - to ease my stress and the pounding in my head,
"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus."
Philippians 4:6-7
Yeah! I did it all from memory - so if I got something wrong, I'm sorry. I will say, oh - how it works! Just being able to speak God's Word, whenever you need it - something I never tried doing until this year - and I'm so glad I have.
My new one for this two weeks is: (Oh, and let me go get my flipcards, because I do not have this one memorized yet!)
"Let the morning bring me word of Your unfailing love, for I have put my trust in You. Show me the way I should go, for to You I lift up my soul. Teach me to do Your will, for You are my God; may Your good Spirit lead me on level ground."
Psalm 143:8 & 10
Alright, I guess I'd really better get myself ready and to the store. It's just that it is so dark and cozy in here, it makes it hard to leave.
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