For a person who does not like change, one who clings to the familiar, changes have surely come... And one of the biggest ones come tomorrow.
August brought a return to school for the kiddos. The older two moved up a grade in the schools they were in last year, a relatively easy adjustment. Our youngest began 1st grade at a new school, which has been a really hard adjustment for him and for me. In kindergarten, he was in a Christian school where my best friend was his teacher, there were 12 kids in his class, he learned a bible verse a week, and all was loving and sweet. Enter public school... It has been a shock to his sensitive little self.
His teacher is great, but there is a teacher he has to deal with on a daily basis that is.....a bit on the firm side. He has had to adjust to teachers yelling a bit, trying to get lots more kids to behave and do what they expect them to do. The second week of school (last week), he cried for 3 mornings. Which nearly broke my heart.... But I am grateful to say, that after talking to his teacher, he & I feel a lot better. He is getting used to it, loves to learn, & even rode the school bus once for the first time. He said the best part of the bus ride was seeing me & his daddy waiting for him at the bus stop.
Tomorrow I begin nursing school. I feel like I am in a plane, about to parachute out. I have had lots of training, but still am not ready to jump. As a matter a fact, I'm not even sure I want to jump...but there are people behind me, waiting, expecting me to jump...after all, that's what I've been training for, for 2 years.
I feel like the Israelites, I've heard the bad report...many bad reports. Not much encouragement, from either students or nurses. They have me feeling like my life is about to be over... I have to remember it is doable. It just has to be.
I know God has carried me this far, I believe He has directed my course. I never could have done what I have so far, on my own. 17 classes, 15 A's, 2 B's. I remember the fear as I began college 2 years ago, wondering how I could do it. And here I am again, with 2 years of nursing school ahead of me, and I am in fear and trembling again.
If I ever have a free moment again (I fear I won't), I will try to write after the first week or so and give a quick update. I have been told that the first week is the worst, and to remember that other weeks aren't as bad or the same. I will try to remember that...
I do so wish I was one of those people who just jumped into new adventures with a gleeful attitude. Instead, I kinda picture myself holding onto a tree, while a fierce wind tries to blow me free.
I pray that I will have a gleeful update soon!
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