Okay, I read them tonight- the letters found in the box from the attic. The ones Clay wrote me from boot camp. All of them. All that is left.
And I'm just gushing with love! LOL!
I don't know what took me so long, but tonight was perfect, because he has been gone this whole evening, visiting his brother. So, I came into the den to get something - saw the box, and just sat down and sorted them by date. Starting Aug. 1990 - Sept. 1990. On one hand, that seems so long ago, but after reading them - like yesterday.
Poor boy - in boot camp dealing with the stress of being away from home, drill instructors yelling at you and punishing you for not having your belt buckles perfectly polished, (or anything else they can think of), having little to no sleep, exercising like never before, shin splints, shots, wisdom teeth being pulled, new buzz cut (which I loved), having lots of classroom time and tests but little to no time to study - and what did I do? I sent him lots of depressing/sappy/moping letters.
At one point in a letter he told me something that made me laugh (several times - but this in particular). He said not to send him such big bulky letters, because they think there is something in the letters, and they make him open his mail right in front of the company commander. And he said he did not like doing that. Now, he wanted me to write, and loved getting my letters - but to split them up - into different envelopes. Funny now, but I'm sorry I did that to him. Even though we don't have any of the ones I wrote him, I remember how I felt at the time - and a few times he mentioned things like, "Don't worry so much", or "stop being so depressed", or "It'll work out, I promise". I should have been happy and upbeat for him!
We had just met the summer before he left for boot camp. We were so crazy about each other, and didn't know what would become of us. He planned on joining the military and moving out of here, then he meets me, and tries everything he can to get stationed near home just to be near me. SOOO sweet! As I look back now, God has directed our steps in ways I couldn't have imagined. It all worked out perfectly.
I can remember my 18 year old self like yesterday. It was the sweetest thing - us, but boy I wouldn't want to go back to that bundle of emotions again (me at that age). No way.
I'm happy right where I am now. But looking back has been so nice.
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