Women!
(And I mean that about myself!) Can't we be more even keeled - like men?
I know it is a combination of things that has me feeling this way. It is a dreary rainy day today. I got the kids off to school, and in between, was reading this book that I can hardly put down - another Francine Rivers book, "Leota's Garden". I am in the last quarter of the book, at a very emotional point, and lets just say I get too emotionally invested in books at times. It's like they become a part of me. I think I will give up book reading for a while after this one. (Who am I kidding!) But really, it is sad and emotional right now, and I don't know how it will end, but I have hope that it will end in some good way. And I think that is what I've been thinking about life lately. Especially today.
It's hard and emotional, but in the end, my hope is that all the things I fear and worry about, will work out.
After all my "emotional" reading last night and this morning, I even felt emotional about sending the kids off to school. With Jacob I stress about his grades - he's in the 7th grade and not having the best scores in a couple of classes right now. As a parent, there is so much you can do to help, and the rest is up to them. That is stressing enough.
Then watching Jalyn as she walked to the bus. Watching her wait with the other kids, after she was in the "I don't want to go to school" mood. Waiting for her wave as she does every day just as she's about to walk up the steps of the bus.
Thinking about Joshua, and if we think he's ready for preschool this year, when will he be potty trained, and all things surrounding that.
Those thoughts all lead me to the homeschooling issue that has been on my mind. What is best for me and the kids? ???? That is something I don't have an answer for right now, but have been praying that God will show me where He wants me to go with that. I feel so inadequate for that job, and yet the thought of Jalyn in school sometimes, makes me so sad. All the things that come with elementary school, such as her class being rowdy and in trouble often (punished from recess), all of the yelling from teachers about no talking, and standing in line, and no going to the bathroom or sharpening a pencil and on and on and on.
I'm just a downer today. Lots of bigger problems than mine in the world - by far.
These are just all the things swirling around in my head today.
The rain has just ended, and the sun is coming out. Rain drops are glistening on everything.
Maybe my "mood" will cease as well, and I will feel the hope I know is there.
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